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Win-Win Infertility Solution

May 7, 2011

Hello Loving Wannabe Parents,

Apologetically, this information is for women who are not sterile. However, the substantiated techniques are for all women hoping to conceive and the outcome is exactly the same. You receive your family.

Please relax, take a breath and exhale thru-out these comments. You owe yourself permission to see this article as a Good Thing and not simply a Compromise thats missing the Target.  Your Target. Please see-it-thru.

I believe while this may not be “new” news, that you may not realise how factual and prevalent it turns out to be.  I know that its very possible some of this advice you may have never considered before today. I’m asking you to give serious attention and consideration to this, instead of dismissing it prematurely. For this, truly, may be the answer to your inability to conceive. Thank You in advance. Please know that I am only here today to serve your purpose. And that I regard your tender feelings in this matter.

How many times have you heard of someone adopting a child only to become pregnant themselves within a month?  More than once?  Never heard of it?!  Would you believe its closer to 85%  of new adoptive parents that find themselves pregnant within ONE MONTH after adoption?  That, that is typically an average?  In this case,  Average and Typically are beautiful words!

For those of you who are exhaling a “sad and disheartened” breath at this very moment….thinking that my article is about adoption….hold on!  I am skipping past adoption for now and sharing my “top most-likely” unconsidered options that have a great chance of turning into an Infertility Solution for you. But, to ready your mindset, I first needed you to hear and guide yourself towards BELIEF in the phenomenal, statistical odds.  So, rethink the 85% figure. Search your own memory for “like” scenarios you have heard about from friends. Maybe, its the actress on a morning talk show who, just 2weeks ago, told her own story of adopting and becoming pregnant just 6weeks later? So, while firstly, I am going to offer a beautiful and simple alternative to adoption, I still need to explain the science behind the statistics, so it can grab your attention and settle in as FACT.

Here’s what Science believes about Love. LOVE is a State of Mind. That which manifests in different aspects internally and externally in the human body. Many ecteras here are left-out intentionally so that we all may arrive at the point!  Medically, therefore mentally, and vice versa,  pregnancy can be “misfired” by stress and other internal issues that are separate from being sterile.  Likely, all of you, that are experiencing difficulty conceiving are being counseled about these issues from your Doctors…and rightly so. But, Read On…In very Lamen’s Terms…These days I am very Lamen…Out of Practice/ Pun Intended…..Pregnancy can be achieved by relaxation  etc.  etc…However,  Access to the specific “relaxation” required physically, may be too deeply embedded in our brains to bring about on our own. In fact, the part of our body that needs to relax is deep into our brain.  And our Doctor prescribes a hormone cocktail w/side-dishes to “introduce” a specific concept of relaxation to our unreachable-by-us parts.  Often, this is all our body requires to speak to that deep-part. Perhaps more often, it isn’t enough….But, the Encoded Genes that are the “part” of our brain that requires this relaxing…. CAN BE “PROMPTED” to “ACT” by showing the Gene, its-self.  LOVE incites hormones that communicate with the genes for a certain genetically-designed outcome.  LOVE or the hormonal result from the action of love is a component of this genetic cell.  A component it recognises stronger than it recognises hormones! SO, show the gene the behavior it is designed to have and it CopyCats it.  The way our children learn most all of their functions, right? We all have some concept of that our brains are “hard-wired” and full of “circuits” that send messages and commands, electrically, thru these circuits…so the concept of “jump-starting” a circuit isn’t too foreign to us.  And, it applys here.

You’ve already, likely, been counseled about this. Even, likely you have been told about adoption-resulting-in pregnancy. But you dismissed it for all the reasons you did, and so, you are still not pregnant, when, if you had considered it more thoroughly, you may have come to the same conclusions that many professionals have.  Conclusions that easily turn into options for your Infertility Problem.  And the ones that I am speaking of to you, today.

Later, I will speak about some unconsidered reasons you may have denounced adoption.  But for now, I will offer serious advice on options for you instead of adoption….for your Infertility. Options that offer the same intensity of emotions required to “jumpstart” your conception gene…..

FOSTER PARENTING:  Temporary. Rewarding. Philanthropic. And just like Adoption, it may have negative connotations, which are, largely due to our lack of knowledge of it. There are MANY ways to FOSTER.  It is very understandable if you do not know, that every city government is in need of Very-Temporary Foster Homes.   Temporary, as in…One Overnight Stay,  One Weekend Stay,   One Month Stay,   Two to Three Month Stays. Stays, typically, needed because the parent has a temporary jail sentence. Or, the parent is hospitalised, or temporarily homeless. MANY reasons resulting in MANY babies and children needing OUR temporary-assistance. Now, after you consider that…consider this…”THIS COULD BE YOUR JUMPSTART” !!    

To connect you, at this moment, to its possibility….we need to consider some of the reasons why we don’t consider adoption. Some of the less-thought-of reasons.  Many, Many, Mother’s have no desire for children until they become pregnant. Their life, at this moment, is complete without them. They can be around other friend’s children and feel nothing internally “ticking” other than their feeling of “like” for the child, etc. And feelings of acknowledging a “like” for the child, may not even occur. It simply is not “in” our internal-radar yet. Feelings of desire for a child of their own don’t register yet, AT ALL.  They can be around other pregnant friends and feel no hormonal messages flowing to the brain.  In fact, just like orgasm, until a woman has born a child, they may have never “achieved” these feelings.   LOL, Right?   Its after “showing” the genes, jumpstarting the genes, that a woman typically begins to yearn for a child when around other children and pregnant women. And often, it may be the first time you are aware of other children’s presence in society! I happen to be one of these women.  I am amazed, now, that I didn’t even notice children before I had my own. I was actually uninterested in them at all, and impatient around most of them, in general. I didn’t even get a spark of “circuit-connection” around a family member’s child! It was kind of weird at the time, especially after I realised I had been that way, pre-baby of my own.  

A MOST VALID POINT, ALSO, IS……you may only desire becoming a parent as a psychological reason and not a physical one. This is not a negative or critism, just a fact.  The desire for a child CAN AND OFTEN comes from a  “life’s natural-progression thought-process”. “Babies comes next after marriage.”  How many couples crave a “pet” after marriage and satisfy that craving? A very large percentage. Its part of our procreation hard-wiring. Stay with me please….its easy to get lost in this, I realise.  If you…like me…had just enough social-psychology and procreation-coding at work in my brain and/or mind, after marriage, that had me craving “nurturing as a couple”, but, equally enough maturity to know better than to   “parent”  immediately after marriage…you also may have transferred that inherent or socially-achieved craving to aquiring a pet.  A strong enough, unplanned, compelling of parenting “together”, but not enough for a child,  that you satisfied that desire and aquired a pet or even two and began the hard-wired behavior of loving-something “together”. This  behavior gene or even socially-embedded thought-process even occurs when we are single and alone and move into our first apartment, for example, and we immediately begin “nesting” and yearning to create a version of “our own” family, by getting a pet.  Your hard-wiring may be played out differently….You may desire a child mentally but your body doesn’t know that yet so the IDEA of adopting does absolutely nothing for you when you think of it.  “A misfire occurs.”  Thats okay, of course. But,  what if the only reason you did not consider adoption was  because your physical-mind hadn’t been programmed to be able to, yet? No knowledge, that until your mind has been “naturally awakened” you have no “physical” desire for children. YES, you have the MENTAL  desire. This is where I want you be caught up….the desires are not the same.  Likely you are like many or even most all women, in that you are not able to connect emotionally to other children or the thought of other children until your body has been physically awakened by pregnancy and birth. It is this  scientific reason why the vast majority of people don’t consider adoption. Or at least in the first go-round of parenthood.

FOSTERING….Numerous studies have concluded that LOVE is partly and perhaps, largely about NEEDING  and BEING NEEDED.  It manifests in every love situation…pet, person, patient, neighbor, stranded animal, etc.  When we encounter NEEDING or BEING NEEDED in all of the above situations, our “nurture gene” is jump-started. Period. And to the woman trying to become pregnant, this genetic coding doesn’t differentiate its target. This fact just opened MANY more doors to your infertility problem….THERE IS SO MUCH LEGITIMATE HOPE IN THIS SCIENCE….. 

GET A PET,  VOLUNTEER  AT A NURSING HOME, BECOME A BABY-HOLDER AT HOSPITAL MATERNITY WARD, ETC!!!!

If you already have a pet and you are certified by your doctor to being able physically to become pregnant…consider a new pet addition to your family. You must and usually, simply need to “nurture something”. You need to take care of something. You need to be in contact with something that truly needs you. Neesd your help and LOVE.  Listen, this is not iron-clad gtd. But, it is regarded as fact by doctors and scientists, worldwide, to be an amazingly accurate phenomenon.  Accurate, meaning you would be very dismissive not to consider it a true and tried method of conception. One that merits your respect and attention.   *Please take many extra moments of consideration to adoption and fostering*  Please. Please consider that perhaps, and I mean perhaps, only, that your mentality towards being a parent is a “marriage procession” one. Please give yourself the chance to convert it to a “physical” one instead. Going to the park and watching, even actually interacting with children, isn’t a strong enough spark to reach our hard-wiring. You must be NEEDED, remember? Children at the park need your attention, yes, oh yes, but its not a desire thats strong enough to break-thru  circuits that will demand  your closed pregnancy-circuits to loosen. Take yourself to a FOSTER HOME or AN ORPHANAGE.  Talk to other mothers who will all tell you that their 5 yr old, boy or girl, started asking for a baby from you at this age and up. Now imagine the LOVE you will have saving an older child, giving that child the one thing it has the comprehension to understand…I Need Love. Imagine its first year in school having the knowledge it is like all the other children…I HAVE PARENTS WHO LOVE ME. Please, please. Now imagine that love allowed you to become pregnant on your own. The actress, I mentioned, adopted an older child and they shared the birth of their new baby together. Imagine how much that child must have truly real feelings of being a family? Imagine the possibility that the reason adoption or even fostering, doesn’t appeal to you is simply because IT CAN’T. Because you haven’t put yourself physically in contact with the idea. Passion, like love, can’t be imagined, it has to be seen, or touched, or heard, smelled,… first.  Most things in life are overcome by considering new and different perspectives. Right? The number one reason for success in therapy…you are given new advice, new thought-lines and ideas. When people take the step to physically put themselves in contact with children who need them…the attraction is instant…the genetic-coding loosens up instantly…its Science and It Works. Consider that if you were to only become a volunteer  for a foster home, orphanage, babysit for a foster parent…that would be Win-Win in itself, would it not?  Consider that if you already knew of these things that the reason you didn’t volunteer is because you narcisstically want to be a parent only…meaning you are truly only focused on the “socially-expected progression” of becoming a parent. This is not a critism. All of our minds are wired certain ways. Ways we had no choice in. Ways that cause many types of maturities to manifest very late in life…unless something jumpstarts them. I’m offering new information for your wiring to process and internalise so that it has an earlier opportunity for fruition. Trust me…I am a late-bloomer in so many ways. Passive-aggressive and the whole cigar. But I always desired to be and do better. Just truly didn’t possess the map thru the maze. I wish I had had mentors, conversations, knowledge from dedicated people who possessed “maps” or even just people who in the genetic pool drew lucky DNA tickets.  

MY  AIM  IS  TRUE…..please harbor no insult or injury. For me to write this article, for you, it was was “for you”. Not for adoption or fostering or volunteering. Not for pets at shelters. Perhaps we are truly to view yet another perspective…the “there are no accidents” one. The “full-circle” one. The “karma” one. The “boomerrang” theory, one.  Our inherent DNA has it that to release pregnancy hormones, etc. and allow our bodies to conceive, we must love first. Nurture first. Naturally, I am speaking about becoming pregnant when our bodies have a glitch in conceiving spontaneously. I am also speaking to persons that are planning pregnancy. Planning a family. Seeking that purposely. I am truly aware that our social DNA didn’t come with an “adoption info packet”. We aren’t born with an adoption gene. Some of us are though. And, yes, those people possess a trait we weren’t afforded. We are such a young society. We are learning and adding new natural concepts yearly. Learning to evolve away from wrong inherent or taught prejudices, wrong thinking, adding right thinking, etc.  I am contributing in this small way. I hope I do better, myself. Much better and soon. I’m merely offering to blend science and society together for a beautiful cause….conception and adoption…for a beautiful outcome.

 Much, much, Love and Success!!!      Your’s Truly,  NurseNan    

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